I need you all to know about the food that I have been without for quite some time now. This is not complaining. I am simply trying to draw a picture and explain the seriousness of the situation. Because of the blockade among other things Cuba has limited imports and limited resources to grow their own produce. Don’t get me wrong, there is food here….rice, beans, bread, fried things, hot dogs, plenty of meat….it’s just that everything is very expensive is you can find it and if not….you just have to wait it out. We saw $14 kellog’s cereal!!!! (don’t know how to spell it) but the point is that to eat cereal it would cost u 14 dollars! Which…. The general level of monthly salary given at the typical job is around $10-12 dollars…. Now, because this (like most things the government awards) does not begin to cover the monthly costs of any living human being, there are sometimes, some people, who spend money on things like that….but….. not many, and usually $14 CUC would go towards something else a little more daring than cereal. (CUC stand for convertible currency… this is the dollar that is closer to the U.S. dollar in value. 24 dollars of national money make up 1 of the CUC. Most food on the street is in national money and things in stores are in CUC. The outdoor markets, like farmer’s markets are all in national money…. Blah blah. So… food.
Please understand that I have a pallet that is conditioned to enjoy certain foods and that I know what I’m missing when I have only been able to have frozen strawberries for the past four months, and I know what I’m missing when I’ve only had canned peaches for the past 4 months and I know what it means to barely have fresh veggies (besides the here and there cucumber) for four months. Now, others, folks who are used to their usual intake of veggies and fruits are much stronger and acclimated to the food. They do not have problems with their skin or digestion if they miss their daily 5 a day. For me. With the lovely privilege I have grown up with, missing my fiber has caused problems, and eating white bread almost tree times a day has caused problems and drinking juice at every meal has caused problems and eating pork fat almost everyday in almost all the sides and meat dishes has caused problems….
So, when u see me. I am going to have a face full of marks and battle wounds (pimples) from not eating my cushioned little diet and my tummy might have some extra love around it….hehe. no judging!
Appreciate the fruit around u. try to imagine, what your life would be like if you hadn’t ever tried a strawberry. IF YOU HAD NEVER HAD A STRAWBERRY. Please. Take a moment.
Or if u didn’t know what a burrito was….or if you had never put chicken masala on nann with mango chutney etc etc. it’s rough. BUT. Also, I have now had the privilege of having foods here that I can’t get anywhere else probably…. Fresh guava for less than a cent, really good (sometimes) homemade pizzas, congrejitos – donut type things with guava paste on the inside etc. etc.
But, back to the point. I have had sometime to plan things that I’m going to cook and or restaurants I want to go to. Now. If u have any interest in hangin out and hear more (as if ur not already bored with all this babble) PLEASE accompany me! Here is my list…hehe….TRUE FATASS. Love.
• baguette French toast
• French toast with fruit and chai whipped cream
• Quesadillas (there are no! (that I know of) tortillas here!!)
• Eel over brown rice and a cold glass of…GINGER BEER!
• King Yen Schezuan (can’t spell) chicken, shrimp and eggplant
• Thai curry eggplant dish
• Fiji water
• Aquafina
• Ethiopian food
• Thai sea food dish (place by lake merit)
• Black beans and maduros y sour cream
• Thai temple
• Fruit tarts
• Fat apple BLT and strawberry milkshake
• Spinach with garlic and brown rice
• Donut plant
• Frozen strawberries with honey and whipped cream
• Chai tea fro donut plant and other places
• Yogurt with fruit
• Lemon bars
• Pumpkin pie
• Cranberry bread
• Crepes
• Homemade apple sauce
• Grapes in a sandwhich
• Annies alfredo
• Chocolate cake
• Sushi from telegraph
• Indian food
• Prya
• Burritos
• Veggies
• All veggies
LOVE. Food is no joke. It changes livess
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Lots of beauty and stuff
The hurricane didn't pass through here and I'm pretty sure that it has dissipated and is not doing harm!
Now, onto the good stuff. As u know, I ramble and go all over the place. Try to follow my writing and excuse me for any grammatical or spelling/coherency errors.
Just when you think it can’t get any more beautiful. God shows you. How silly that thought was. Here, in Canasí, with the ocean against the rocks, I’m heading to sleep. After an awkward meeting outside the science building at the University of Havana, we sat on rocks, holding hot dogs in yellow rolls, getting to know the little joys of small talk. In spanglish and moonlight I could see how lucky I have been. I could feel my excitement in the sounds around me reflected in the water beneath the milky way → pronounced in Spanish meel-key-wai. There is something very satisfying about hearing words that are common to your ears spoken from the mouth of someone uncommon. And. It is very helpful in reminding myself that I am always home.
The ocean – which I am pretty sure is the same water in the golf of México, is so close, my face is literally covered with a thin film of salt. The trees around us have thick round leaves with bathing suits and trash bags hanging from them. The travel to the campsite included a 45 minute-1 hour car ride, a short walk to the mouth of the ocean that meets a river. Then (the best part!) a crossing of the river, with our fatty backpacking bags above our head with the water just below our noses. Just kidding. On me (the shortest person in the group) the water reached my belly button – I put my bathing suit on before...behind a bush with my feet in the grass – so. We arrived in a car, walked maybe a mile to the mouth of the ocean that flowed into the river we crossed. We hiked a little less than another mile and arrived, where we are now. Under trees, looking out into the ocean from rocks and sand and old fallen leaves.
We arrived, dropped our things and jumped in the ocean. Ocean. How thick and forgiving. Never, have I ever, been so close to such a body so big and mature. The ocean is terrifying, yet… captivating? I guess many things that are scary catch the eye…or maybe we are afraid of them simply because they are so magnificent and we can’t keep from being marveled.
It doesn’t really work to give words to something so fluid. Here → GO LOOK AT THE OCEAN AND LEAVE A COMENT, trying to describe it… it’s really hard to describe something like ocean. Or, observe something else that scares you, something that makes you squeeze on the inside but something you can’t keep yourself from.
So, there we were, jumping off the rocks. 1st the lowest one. Into the clear green/blue water. It shook with laughter upon our entrance. Me and Drea jumped together (one of the women from SLC on the trip with us) the flow of the ocean had been moving before us and it continued after. We rode the waves and treaded water for a while. The coral and sand below us was still. Something constant – the ocean needs those. Maybe they keep it centered?
With us, 4 other students and 3 professors came. The 4 students jump from the highest rock. It looks like nothing from below. At the top I can’t help but to act cavalier, telling Drea there’s no problem – just jump – it’s easy – blah blah blah. She jumps, I’m next. The rock feels like sand paper moving across my skin and the sand beneath the water looks miles away. I feel as though I’m in an airplane. Years from hitting the water. I count to 3. I smell the salt b4 it’s lodged into my nose. The waves had started to crash against the rocks to the sides of my airborne body. I hit the water. My arms flopped against the top of the water – making smacking noises louder than my shrill voice – kind of making everyone uncomfortable and worried.
After jumping I smile. I knew the ocean would scoop me up. Standing on the fuzzy rocky corally stuff that lives under the water, breaking the waves with my right hip made me wanna stay in the ocean for ever! The part of the water that we jumped into, formed a cave of mossy rocks and a little pool of water that we got to sit in.
Exiting this little cave was a rock climb. The sun set. The tents went up. dinner was busted out and so was my garlic (ajo/garlic oja/leave ojo/eye oso/bear) these are always fun to recite.
So, then, that all brings me to the moment I realized how silly it is to forget that there is always more. I felt in love. I feel like I’m in love. With the sounds coming out of people’s mouths, with the water that surrounds us, with the quickly appearing stars, with the young man missing me in Vedado…lots of love. Lots of beauty.
So, as I said. How silly that thought was. There is always more. Always something new and always, if you look for it, or let it look for you, something beautiful and full of love.
More!
The sun is creeping up the rocks and quickly lighting up the sky. The ocean becomes more clear and the white sand below seems closer. The light of the sky and the rising sun dances on the surface of the water. There are 4 fishing boats. One facing each direction. It’s hard to believe the sky. Water and sand do this every day, they don’t ask for money or some kind of recognition.
The entire sky is periwinkle. There are puffs of clouds lining the edge. There is pink in the distance and that yellow ball creeping up the rocks. The moon is still high and brighter than everything else. I want to jump into all of it.
Now, onto the good stuff. As u know, I ramble and go all over the place. Try to follow my writing and excuse me for any grammatical or spelling/coherency errors.
Just when you think it can’t get any more beautiful. God shows you. How silly that thought was. Here, in Canasí, with the ocean against the rocks, I’m heading to sleep. After an awkward meeting outside the science building at the University of Havana, we sat on rocks, holding hot dogs in yellow rolls, getting to know the little joys of small talk. In spanglish and moonlight I could see how lucky I have been. I could feel my excitement in the sounds around me reflected in the water beneath the milky way → pronounced in Spanish meel-key-wai. There is something very satisfying about hearing words that are common to your ears spoken from the mouth of someone uncommon. And. It is very helpful in reminding myself that I am always home.
The ocean – which I am pretty sure is the same water in the golf of México, is so close, my face is literally covered with a thin film of salt. The trees around us have thick round leaves with bathing suits and trash bags hanging from them. The travel to the campsite included a 45 minute-1 hour car ride, a short walk to the mouth of the ocean that meets a river. Then (the best part!) a crossing of the river, with our fatty backpacking bags above our head with the water just below our noses. Just kidding. On me (the shortest person in the group) the water reached my belly button – I put my bathing suit on before...behind a bush with my feet in the grass – so. We arrived in a car, walked maybe a mile to the mouth of the ocean that flowed into the river we crossed. We hiked a little less than another mile and arrived, where we are now. Under trees, looking out into the ocean from rocks and sand and old fallen leaves.
We arrived, dropped our things and jumped in the ocean. Ocean. How thick and forgiving. Never, have I ever, been so close to such a body so big and mature. The ocean is terrifying, yet… captivating? I guess many things that are scary catch the eye…or maybe we are afraid of them simply because they are so magnificent and we can’t keep from being marveled.
It doesn’t really work to give words to something so fluid. Here → GO LOOK AT THE OCEAN AND LEAVE A COMENT, trying to describe it… it’s really hard to describe something like ocean. Or, observe something else that scares you, something that makes you squeeze on the inside but something you can’t keep yourself from.
So, there we were, jumping off the rocks. 1st the lowest one. Into the clear green/blue water. It shook with laughter upon our entrance. Me and Drea jumped together (one of the women from SLC on the trip with us) the flow of the ocean had been moving before us and it continued after. We rode the waves and treaded water for a while. The coral and sand below us was still. Something constant – the ocean needs those. Maybe they keep it centered?
With us, 4 other students and 3 professors came. The 4 students jump from the highest rock. It looks like nothing from below. At the top I can’t help but to act cavalier, telling Drea there’s no problem – just jump – it’s easy – blah blah blah. She jumps, I’m next. The rock feels like sand paper moving across my skin and the sand beneath the water looks miles away. I feel as though I’m in an airplane. Years from hitting the water. I count to 3. I smell the salt b4 it’s lodged into my nose. The waves had started to crash against the rocks to the sides of my airborne body. I hit the water. My arms flopped against the top of the water – making smacking noises louder than my shrill voice – kind of making everyone uncomfortable and worried.
After jumping I smile. I knew the ocean would scoop me up. Standing on the fuzzy rocky corally stuff that lives under the water, breaking the waves with my right hip made me wanna stay in the ocean for ever! The part of the water that we jumped into, formed a cave of mossy rocks and a little pool of water that we got to sit in.
Exiting this little cave was a rock climb. The sun set. The tents went up. dinner was busted out and so was my garlic (ajo/garlic oja/leave ojo/eye oso/bear) these are always fun to recite.
So, then, that all brings me to the moment I realized how silly it is to forget that there is always more. I felt in love. I feel like I’m in love. With the sounds coming out of people’s mouths, with the water that surrounds us, with the quickly appearing stars, with the young man missing me in Vedado…lots of love. Lots of beauty.
So, as I said. How silly that thought was. There is always more. Always something new and always, if you look for it, or let it look for you, something beautiful and full of love.
More!
The sun is creeping up the rocks and quickly lighting up the sky. The ocean becomes more clear and the white sand below seems closer. The light of the sky and the rising sun dances on the surface of the water. There are 4 fishing boats. One facing each direction. It’s hard to believe the sky. Water and sand do this every day, they don’t ask for money or some kind of recognition.
The entire sky is periwinkle. There are puffs of clouds lining the edge. There is pink in the distance and that yellow ball creeping up the rocks. The moon is still high and brighter than everything else. I want to jump into all of it.
Monday, September 29, 2008
tidbits
Well. I haven’t avoided anything with this much success in quite sometime. So sorry to those of you who have actually been reading and waiting and re-reading and re-waiting for me to stop playin and put some info on here that is more than just a notice of the fact that I’m still avoiding writing something. Now, you must understand that this whole “blog” thing is quite the new and kind of taboo thing in my life right now. Honestly, it’s not very cool or as easy as you may have thought. But, listen, it is difficult. Mostly it’s just really scary to have to organize my thoughts for other to read. Further more, my Spanish goes up and down. There have nights where it has been tired to sleep because Spanish is running through my head replaying the day and making up conversations or things I want to tell people. My English goes up and down as well. This Blog will be very important in keeping my English going well. It isn’t even that I’m speaking Spanish SOO much that it’s become hard for me to switch over or something miraculous like that, it’s just that…I’m not actually sure…I guess I just don’t think about English as much anymore…and so my eloquence has taken a turn for….a lesser level of greatness! But, more about this place I’m in.
1st of all. Our trip to Cienfuegos, Santa Clara, Trinidad, El Nicho, and Tropes de Collantes. All of these are places in the south west part of the island and are now very damaged from the storm se llama “Ike” and probably also from “Gustavo”. The former came last week and the latter passed through about a week or so before….before the former. We were VERY prepared for a fatty storm when Gustavo was on it’s way, but we were fortunately disappointed by the light rain and minimal wind that was only the result of the leftovers. However, we did experience 2 or 3 days without power and inconsistent use of running water. Then, during Ike we have crazy winds and crazy rain and zero electricity for about four days, followed by a dry spell of purified water jugs that we have been O so privileged to have….this is a dry spell we continue to be in. And, most importantly, because of the lack of electricity and availability of goods and due to the two hurricanes a.k.a. “Ciclones” there has been a large shortage of ICE CREAM. Chocolate Ice cream. That goes quite deliciously with the quite strong coffee. They were made for each other. But I’m being patient….it’s not like they know me in the kitchen as the girl who asks at every meal (including breakfast) “¿Hay Helado?” (Is there Ice Cream?) or anything crazy like that…. * Wink *….. (you have to do things like that in a blog)
Anyways, I was actually going to talk about the trip we went on. This is where I get stuck and watch Top Chef and don’t keep writing because it’s starts to feel insincere when writing about an experience that was actually super beautiful and super difficult.
But, that’s what I signed up for….I guess. So.
One of the most beautiful, empowering, calming, closer-ing-to-god tings that happened on this 5 day trip was going to the waterfalls in El Nicho. At this point, we were all still getting to know each other and maybe, maybe, feeling a little overwhelmed. We had cameras and flip-flops on with our backs out and eyes open to see this water. There was a muddy open path that ran all the way from our van to the mother load of waterfalls. Magnificent. It was crashing, against itself, the rocks and whatever was in it’s path. There was an air of mist and various rainbows. Absolutely, pure beauty, strength and tranquility all at once. Those, to me, are the most amazing things…the things I have to bust out all kinds of adjectives for.
So, also, again with the water. On our 1st day of the trip, who traveled in a van type bus thing with the cooooolest driver man named Alexandro but we called him Alex but the x is not really pronounced. And he played the BEST music. Best meaning super annoying after about 5 minutes but really fun because we would clap and make noise and he felt really good about him self and we all had fun making him feel good. He was really into it. It was like….techno re-made beats with also some soundtrack music to Cirque De Soleil (probably spelled wrong).
Ok, so El Nicho was the last stop and before that was Trinidad. This experience was the most frustrating and upsetting trip that we’ve had to date. Trinidad is famous for it’s architecture, sugarcane production and tourism. What a combination. Most places that are very run down and lacking financial stability are places that once were flourishing with colonialism…now, Trinidad has been abandoned and left to drown in the pale faces touring through on busses that shake against the coble stone roads and scare the men riding horses. The digital camera count was sick and the people were watching. Every move, every assumes thought, they didn’t care but yet were longing to sit next to us. And they, we, sit on the steps next to a fat church with a thoroughly decorated Jesus shrine, thinking and being angry. In our selfish thoughts we do not know what to do with OURSELVES. Wanting to distance ourselves from the tourists in cargo shorts and visors, rejecting our urges to snap shots at the old men with cigars in their mouths, or the little boys running through the town asking for money, dulces and whatever else from all the foreign language speaking white faces. What struck me the most was the amount of beauty that was in the background of all this nasty history and present depiction of what we humans have done and are continuing to do. That five day trip was soooo packed and now seems so damn far away. Here we are about to start octubre, and I have a shiiiit load to share. I will have more next week, but until then try and swallow my jumbled writing above. thanks!
nothing but love.
Out of a great need, we are all holding hands, and climbing.
Not loving is a kind of letting go.
Listen!
It is far too dangerous for that.
~ Hafiz
1st of all. Our trip to Cienfuegos, Santa Clara, Trinidad, El Nicho, and Tropes de Collantes. All of these are places in the south west part of the island and are now very damaged from the storm se llama “Ike” and probably also from “Gustavo”. The former came last week and the latter passed through about a week or so before….before the former. We were VERY prepared for a fatty storm when Gustavo was on it’s way, but we were fortunately disappointed by the light rain and minimal wind that was only the result of the leftovers. However, we did experience 2 or 3 days without power and inconsistent use of running water. Then, during Ike we have crazy winds and crazy rain and zero electricity for about four days, followed by a dry spell of purified water jugs that we have been O so privileged to have….this is a dry spell we continue to be in. And, most importantly, because of the lack of electricity and availability of goods and due to the two hurricanes a.k.a. “Ciclones” there has been a large shortage of ICE CREAM. Chocolate Ice cream. That goes quite deliciously with the quite strong coffee. They were made for each other. But I’m being patient….it’s not like they know me in the kitchen as the girl who asks at every meal (including breakfast) “¿Hay Helado?” (Is there Ice Cream?) or anything crazy like that…. * Wink *….. (you have to do things like that in a blog)
Anyways, I was actually going to talk about the trip we went on. This is where I get stuck and watch Top Chef and don’t keep writing because it’s starts to feel insincere when writing about an experience that was actually super beautiful and super difficult.
But, that’s what I signed up for….I guess. So.
One of the most beautiful, empowering, calming, closer-ing-to-god tings that happened on this 5 day trip was going to the waterfalls in El Nicho. At this point, we were all still getting to know each other and maybe, maybe, feeling a little overwhelmed. We had cameras and flip-flops on with our backs out and eyes open to see this water. There was a muddy open path that ran all the way from our van to the mother load of waterfalls. Magnificent. It was crashing, against itself, the rocks and whatever was in it’s path. There was an air of mist and various rainbows. Absolutely, pure beauty, strength and tranquility all at once. Those, to me, are the most amazing things…the things I have to bust out all kinds of adjectives for.
So, also, again with the water. On our 1st day of the trip, who traveled in a van type bus thing with the cooooolest driver man named Alexandro but we called him Alex but the x is not really pronounced. And he played the BEST music. Best meaning super annoying after about 5 minutes but really fun because we would clap and make noise and he felt really good about him self and we all had fun making him feel good. He was really into it. It was like….techno re-made beats with also some soundtrack music to Cirque De Soleil (probably spelled wrong).
Ok, so El Nicho was the last stop and before that was Trinidad. This experience was the most frustrating and upsetting trip that we’ve had to date. Trinidad is famous for it’s architecture, sugarcane production and tourism. What a combination. Most places that are very run down and lacking financial stability are places that once were flourishing with colonialism…now, Trinidad has been abandoned and left to drown in the pale faces touring through on busses that shake against the coble stone roads and scare the men riding horses. The digital camera count was sick and the people were watching. Every move, every assumes thought, they didn’t care but yet were longing to sit next to us. And they, we, sit on the steps next to a fat church with a thoroughly decorated Jesus shrine, thinking and being angry. In our selfish thoughts we do not know what to do with OURSELVES. Wanting to distance ourselves from the tourists in cargo shorts and visors, rejecting our urges to snap shots at the old men with cigars in their mouths, or the little boys running through the town asking for money, dulces and whatever else from all the foreign language speaking white faces. What struck me the most was the amount of beauty that was in the background of all this nasty history and present depiction of what we humans have done and are continuing to do. That five day trip was soooo packed and now seems so damn far away. Here we are about to start octubre, and I have a shiiiit load to share. I will have more next week, but until then try and swallow my jumbled writing above. thanks!
nothing but love.
Out of a great need, we are all holding hands, and climbing.
Not loving is a kind of letting go.
Listen!
It is far too dangerous for that.
~ Hafiz
a nice little madlib for the family.
I have been having writer block! what a surprise! what a treat!!!!! our very own, homemade MADLIB!
In case Katiana is having writer's block, I thought I'd just make this one easy, just fill in the blanks and send out:
Dear friends and family,
I'm am having the most amazing, challenging and __full___ time here in Havana! The weather has not been good. But its getting better. We got through the hurricanes! The scary part was __the wind and rain. What strength!___. But, surprisingly __Drinking ron (cuban rum) and listening to music for 5 hours___ was rather fun. I never expected __to be able to handle an entire storm ___.
So far the four most interesting people I've met are __one of the women who works as a waitress in our residence, every child that makes me smile, the director of the program, and more of myself ___. Why? Because __there is such depth and sweetness in each of those four I mentioned and such rawness at times___. You'd never guess what I discovered the other day __revolution is as much a gray/contradictory area here as it is in the U.S.___. Food here is surprisingly __repetitious___. Let me tell you what we had for the whole day yesterday; __we went to the beach and swam in the ocean under a gray/black/rainy sky. We ate the most delicious "little crabs" that I have become addicted to. They are just fried dough with guava jelly in the center___. The most beautiful sight I've seen so far is __waterfalls and children___. And the most heartbreaking was __tourism/effects of tourism/being a tourist and my own fear to connect with anything/anyone/those who need the most connection-including women in my group___.
The past month I've had many feelings, but the top three are ___cravings for food in the states, lost-ness, pure joy and at-home-ness___, because ___this shit is crazy son!__.
In general the people I interact with are the same as back home because ___they're human. and basically we're all just playing the game, trying to get by and following silly norms and conditions__, but different because ___language, and experience....although we're humans, we are living in different realities!__. The two can never be compared, and yet they mirror eachother (a little philosophizing on Leslie's part to help you out.)
The architecture and interiors of homes, buildings is expectantly different here because __everything is more less colonial and more based on European style as opposed to modern stuff like in the states. Although, most of it is extremely old and you have to close your eyes sometimes and imagine what everything looked like new....like in titanic... ___. I like __"little crabs"-see above.___. I'd never __like nato....those fermented soybeans___. The colors (or types of colors like bold or pastel or earthy) I see most around town are __beautiful, different and very particular to cuba. Faded and old...but still strong? too cliche?___.
School is okay, I'd rather just have fun. (NOT!)
School is __slow. It took way longer to start school than expected because of the cyclones. But, school is....hard. hard to understand but good.___. I'm learning alot about __how people sell their own country to us as if it is a sales pitch___. I've met all kinds of different people here, and I try to be respectful and understanding that people come from different backgrounds and exposure, but that most mean well and are capable of love (Leslie philosophizing again). But my favorite friends/characters/neighborhood sightings are __men in mesh shirts, men with no shirts, kids super excited but super shy (like me) to talk to someone different....from a different world, the noise people make to get eachothers attention (which is not considered rude, but sounds extremely rude and took like two weeks to understand that it was acceptable and I'm still trying to get used to it)....including women on the street.....also, I have a few friends who I love seeing__.
Well, I suppose I must go now to study (party), we have to walk 12 miles to school every morning at dawn (no one will ever go there to check up on your story), and I like to stop and chat with a little girl who's house I pass every day, who's taken a liking to me and tell her a new story. I bet Leslie felt the same way about me when I was that age. I suppose I don't even have to send off this letter since I'm writing all these things down in my journal and Much More! Or that I'm photographing it all, audio taping it, writing poems or something like that (I suppose if you are doing one of these things, you can forgo this fill in letter). But, maybe I'll just skip that one t.v. show and write this letter so Leslie and all her friends who are dying to hear about Cuba can see it through my eyes.
Love Katiana
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED "OUR" LETTER!
In case Katiana is having writer's block, I thought I'd just make this one easy, just fill in the blanks and send out:
Dear friends and family,
I'm am having the most amazing, challenging and __full___ time here in Havana! The weather has not been good. But its getting better. We got through the hurricanes! The scary part was __the wind and rain. What strength!___. But, surprisingly __Drinking ron (cuban rum) and listening to music for 5 hours___ was rather fun. I never expected __to be able to handle an entire storm ___.
So far the four most interesting people I've met are __one of the women who works as a waitress in our residence, every child that makes me smile, the director of the program, and more of myself ___. Why? Because __there is such depth and sweetness in each of those four I mentioned and such rawness at times___. You'd never guess what I discovered the other day __revolution is as much a gray/contradictory area here as it is in the U.S.___. Food here is surprisingly __repetitious___. Let me tell you what we had for the whole day yesterday; __we went to the beach and swam in the ocean under a gray/black/rainy sky. We ate the most delicious "little crabs" that I have become addicted to. They are just fried dough with guava jelly in the center___. The most beautiful sight I've seen so far is __waterfalls and children___. And the most heartbreaking was __tourism/effects of tourism/being a tourist and my own fear to connect with anything/anyone/those who need the most connection-including women in my group___.
The past month I've had many feelings, but the top three are ___cravings for food in the states, lost-ness, pure joy and at-home-ness___, because ___this shit is crazy son!__.
In general the people I interact with are the same as back home because ___they're human. and basically we're all just playing the game, trying to get by and following silly norms and conditions__, but different because ___language, and experience....although we're humans, we are living in different realities!__. The two can never be compared, and yet they mirror eachother (a little philosophizing on Leslie's part to help you out.)
The architecture and interiors of homes, buildings is expectantly different here because __everything is more less colonial and more based on European style as opposed to modern stuff like in the states. Although, most of it is extremely old and you have to close your eyes sometimes and imagine what everything looked like new....like in titanic... ___. I like __"little crabs"-see above.___. I'd never __like nato....those fermented soybeans___. The colors (or types of colors like bold or pastel or earthy) I see most around town are __beautiful, different and very particular to cuba. Faded and old...but still strong? too cliche?___.
School is okay, I'd rather just have fun. (NOT!)
School is __slow. It took way longer to start school than expected because of the cyclones. But, school is....hard. hard to understand but good.___. I'm learning alot about __how people sell their own country to us as if it is a sales pitch___. I've met all kinds of different people here, and I try to be respectful and understanding that people come from different backgrounds and exposure, but that most mean well and are capable of love (Leslie philosophizing again). But my favorite friends/characters/
Well, I suppose I must go now to study (party), we have to walk 12 miles to school every morning at dawn (no one will ever go there to check up on your story), and I like to stop and chat with a little girl who's house I pass every day, who's taken a liking to me and tell her a new story. I bet Leslie felt the same way about me when I was that age. I suppose I don't even have to send off this letter since I'm writing all these things down in my journal and Much More! Or that I'm photographing it all, audio taping it, writing poems or something like that (I suppose if you are doing one of these things, you can forgo this fill in letter). But, maybe I'll just skip that one t.v. show and write this letter so Leslie and all her friends who are dying to hear about Cuba can see it through my eyes.
Love Katiana
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED "OUR" LETTER!
Friday, September 12, 2008
this is not an excuse.
Hey...for those of you who have been checking this and finding absolutely nothing new...I apologize...I am a little overwhelmed and not quite ready to pour it all out yet. There has also been two hurricanes in 10 days so....forgive me! But, I promise. I'm working on it. I just want this entry to be as clear as possible...now don't expect it to be 100% clear ok! OK.
love.
love.
Friday, September 5, 2008
teaser
¿QUE VOLA HACERE? (What's up) But I'm not sure how to spell it.....but....soooon, there will be something very soon! Love u all! I'm going to try to post a pic! Wish me luck! expect one before next week!
love
love
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Beauty. Pure.
Not everything is as it seems and many things will not reveal their true selves to you until it is the perfect moment. Language doesn't hold water to souls and alcohol can be bought anywhere! I have learned lessons, seen beauty and challenge, touched new things, smelled new things, tasted new things, seen new things and heard a language in a whole new light. This is our fourth full day and I am already a resident. These moments are so epic for me because I expected to crumble but I am still solid. I'm basking in surprise and pride. The ocean is blue. The architecture is unique. The people are full the food is filling. The United States has yet to impress me but this is where I come from. The first day and many minutes throughout the past four days, I have tried to distance myself from women in my group and the title of "American". Now, I have been trying to challenge myself to chill out. To listen, to feel. To acknowledge that we can not run from our center, our home. We can only look more closely and expand.
I am also reading the Alchemist which is of course PERFECT. Humans are so raw and afraid. I love it. I'm glad for my existence and those of the women who will become bare to one another and enjoy the raw depth throughout the next four months.
I am feeling most prideful in my ability to hold my family and loved ones closer to me than ever before without the same waste of time in being sad but in rejoice-sing for their presence within me and our extended connection. I am not day dreaming of walks at the Berkeley marina or of the a left behind love. I am not wishing I was on Shattuck or crossing the Bay Bridge. I am here. In Cuba. Vedado. ANAP. With this family, with these plants, with this water.
Tomorrow we leave for Trindad, Cuba, Santa Clara Cienfuegos!
Love.
I am also reading the Alchemist which is of course PERFECT. Humans are so raw and afraid. I love it. I'm glad for my existence and those of the women who will become bare to one another and enjoy the raw depth throughout the next four months.
I am feeling most prideful in my ability to hold my family and loved ones closer to me than ever before without the same waste of time in being sad but in rejoice-sing for their presence within me and our extended connection. I am not day dreaming of walks at the Berkeley marina or of the a left behind love. I am not wishing I was on Shattuck or crossing the Bay Bridge. I am here. In Cuba. Vedado. ANAP. With this family, with these plants, with this water.
Tomorrow we leave for Trindad, Cuba, Santa Clara Cienfuegos!
Love.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
women
can i just say how much i love women. just on a common spiritual/emotional level we feel each other.....we are all coming from different parts of life and walks and beliefs, but, the vibe is amazing. we are all soooo juiced. and Shani.....it's just a privilege to be surrounded by extraordinary women!
yes!
yes!
Cancún :-/
It is a weird existence we have in the U.S. Rarely to we see our affects on others and how we are viewed. Until we are faced with it, dead in the face....It will be a long time comin for those we affect and our souls. The advertising...the blond haired infiltration.....is enormous. And there are still smiles....there are still laughing staff members. With all the raping proceeds so does life. We have forgotten how to fight and think for our selves and our true wants and needs because this false nourishment of glamor, dollars and convince has filled us up so high. And here I am.....on the high-speed Internet in a hotel contributing all the way.....
ironic? or expected?
ironic? or expected?
Thursday, August 7, 2008
stop thinking in the future
my brother told me this. because some one else told him this.
:
when u are upset, in a place of negativity, and or unpleasant state of being, do not think about the future.
there was a time this week when everything was crashing down on this voyage i am about to embark on. naturally, i was at a loss for god's words and anything that was even remotely positive. so, amani simply said that very phrase to me; when u are upset, in a place of negativity, and or an unpleasant state of being, do not think about the future.
so, i put an end to the future that day. and the next day, today, i was ready to think again. to dream, day dreams and happy, exciting, challenging things came to mind. the state of your being, affects the state of your thoughts, affects the future manifested.
live through the present and stop sabotaging the future. put your fear on the shelf.
:
when u are upset, in a place of negativity, and or unpleasant state of being, do not think about the future.
there was a time this week when everything was crashing down on this voyage i am about to embark on. naturally, i was at a loss for god's words and anything that was even remotely positive. so, amani simply said that very phrase to me; when u are upset, in a place of negativity, and or an unpleasant state of being, do not think about the future.
so, i put an end to the future that day. and the next day, today, i was ready to think again. to dream, day dreams and happy, exciting, challenging things came to mind. the state of your being, affects the state of your thoughts, affects the future manifested.
live through the present and stop sabotaging the future. put your fear on the shelf.
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